when-a-train-goes-through-a-tunnel-and-it-gets-dark-you-dont-throw-away-the-ticket-and-jump-off-you-sit-still-and-trust-the-engineer-corrie-ten-boomMy mom posted this quote to my Facebook timeline this week right after the Marathon bombings.  She knew I was shaken up and scared.  You see, Boston is a mere 3 miles away from my house in Cambridge and our hearts are set on planting a church in that great “state of grace”, so my mom posted a quote from one of my favorite writers. Hoping I’m sure that encouraging me to trust God with both this tragedy and our calling to plant in Boston will calm my shaken soul.  Unfortunately, it didn’t help.  You see, initially I read that quote and thought ‘oh my gosh!  Sit still and trust the Engineer? Are you telling me our good and kind God engineered this horror?!?” Unthinkable.

I “liked” it as a courtesy—the perfunctory act of a daughter affirming her mother’s maternal instinct from across the miles, but the thought  didn’t sit right with me.

But what if I’m misinterpreting the “trust” our Engineer is asking of us?  What if the “trust” isn’t “trust me, I did this for a reason” but, “trust me, I’m with you no matter what?” What if the Engineer is encouraging us to trust because he knows how to deftly navigate our fearful hearts through this dark time?  What if trusting the Engineer looks like Jesus’ encouragement that in this world we’ll have tribulation but to take heart for he has overcome this world?

Something about that rings true. It looks like Jesus who suffered evil because he knew there was a “light at the end of the tunnel”.  So, I will not jump off this train, even though this track we’re on forces me to face this tunnel of violence, fear, anxiety, and loss.  I will be still and know that my Engineer is God. Even the darkness is light to him, so he can see, he can navigate, and he can overcome—even in the darkest of tunnels.


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