Today, I completed a Friendship Marathon:
Shopping for clothes for Allume with one friend:
Seeing Nadia Bolz-Weber speak with the mom of my daughter’s new BFF:
It’s been a lovely day. I had fro-yo twice. I found a new trendy thrift store. I talked about books, theology, tattoos, and motherhood. Today was pretty much an extrovert’s dream.
I’m taking these last thirty minutes before Saturday shifts to Sunday to list as many random thoughts of the day on friendship as I can in 15 minutes.
1: Flexibility is key. Last night I didn’t think I would be able to meet my friend for shopping. When I threw out an alternative she jumped at it with smiley face emoticons and exclamation points.
2: Take the uncomfortable fashion advice. I walked in wanting gray suede booties and a cute top. I walked out with chocolate suede booties and a burgundy pencil skirt on hold for pick up tomorrow. Both I love. Both I wouldn’t have chosen for myself. Both I look so chic in!
3: Always say yes to fro-yo. SoCal is hot and it’s the perfect way to accent girlfriend time. Plus, brownie bites are delicious.
4: Don’t be afraid to say you’re having a good time. Yeah, it’s a little awkward, but only because it’s so counter to everything we’ve been taught about relationships, especially girl relationships. We’re scared to show our vulnerability, lest she takes advantage of us like a she-bear. But, honestly, saying you’re having fun or you like her only serves to encourage your new friend. It floods her little heart with warmth. It gives God the thread he needs to knit you two together. Push through the awkward and tell her she’s a fun gal.
5: Be silly. It’s fun and it’s important to break the ice. Take the goofy pic, let yourself snort-laugh, do a hilarious impression of a valley girl. Your girl-date will be all the better.
6: Offer to pay for something, if you can. It’s just polite. If she bought you a coffee on her way to pick up, offer to buy the fro-yo. It shows her you value her time and her resources. It tells her you’re in this for her, not what she can do or buy for you.
7: HUG! Even if it’s hot outside, even it’s awkwardly over the car seat with a pizza box in your arms. HUG.
8: Be a good listener. Repeat back what you loved about what she said. If she loses her train of thought or gets interrupted by a homeless woman ranting about her lost son, remind her where she left off. She’ll love that you remembered and you’ll learn something new about her.
9: Pray for her. When you bless the meal. When she complains of a headache. When she tells you something sad. Pray for her. Whether or not she’ll become your new BFF, she’s your sister in Christ. Take her needs to Dad, k’ay.
10: Ask her before you post something to social media. I know it’s a little common sense, but it must be addressed. I so get your exuberance to proclaim to the inter webs that you do, in fact, have a social life, but if you want more girl-dates then exercise a little caution and ask about the slightly risqué hasthtag.
11: Your husband will be so happy you had tons of time out with girls, but he won’t want to debrief every single conversation you had. So scritch scratch in your journal, send a fun text to your friend about what you loved that evening, or (like me) sit down to write a blog post.
12: Be open-minded. She may say something you don’t agree with or (gasp) slightly annoys you. That’s ok. She’s not you and that’s a good thing. She’s your new friend and God may have something amazing in store for you. She may soften your edges or boost your self-confidence, or inspire your curiosity. Be open-minded and if she says buy the pencil skirt, for the love of all that’s good and autumnal, BUY THE SKIRT.
13: Praise God for the beauty of girlfriends and that particularly lovely expression of it. They are gifts, worthy of deep gratitude, so say a little prayer of “thanks” as you part ways.
14: Suggest something you can do again on the date. It doesn’t have to be a major commitment like say a book signing or shopping, it can be as simple as checking out that new stationary store or grabbing fro-yo…again…because, SoCal. And it’s delicious.
My timer went off guys and I have SO MUCH MORE to say. Especially about a wonderful distintincion Pastor Nadia made on being friendly and being welcoming. So, I guess it’s good this is a daily writing challenge. Until tomorrow, my loves.
Shalom and Scritch-scratching and Pencil Skirt Dreaming,