Yesterday, TC and I had an argument. It’s one we have at least three times a year. Right before the kids go back to school when I’m feeling all eager and over-confident that with the kids back in class I can do ALL THE THINGS. Or right after the New Year when shame and #goaldigging traps me into thinking I’m not doing enough to be my best self… live my best life… all that jazz. And the doozy that brings this argument is whenever we have an unexpected expense that threatens our stability. In every instance, I say, “I’ma fix this! Your girl’s got this! Let’s search craigslist for a job or I’ll sling coffee, OHHHH let me find some babysitting gig.” And T.C. looks me dead in the eyes and say, “You’re busy enough. You’re doing exactly what God has called you to do right now— don’t add to it. Just trust that God sees you.” and I’m all like stop it with the spiritual maturity and pastoral care of your wife… just let me live, let me hustle, let me work, work work, work, work, work!
(mad props if you read that hearing Rhianna)
And we go round and round until my husband reminds me that I am a Shalom Sista. Y’all… he always win with that. It’s true, I am a seeker and proclaimer of God’s wholeness meeting my brokenness. I am a believer in abundance and not scarcity because the Kingdom of God is overflowing with goodness and God’s mercies are new every morning. Did y’all get that?!?! It’s huge for me today, God’s mercies renewing every morning that means every single morning, I wake up with the Kingdom of God pressing into my day. I flutter my eyes open and God’s favor is the first light I see. I just be willing to acknowledge it. I have to rest my anxious, Type-A, fixer tendencies and dwell in the possibility that God’s jam is provision simply because he delights in me, his beloved— no hustle, or proof, or paychecks to prove it.
Real talk: I love Olivia Pope, but sista needs to take several seats. There are no white hats here. Just resting and trusting. Just breathing in goodness and accepting mercy. This week is all about rest, y’all. So, I’m sitting here at Lavender and Honey with my latte and my toast, meditating on Psalm 23 and letting it inform my shalom steps this week.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Does this resonate with you, today Sista?
How can I pray for you this week as we reject anxiety and getting our worth from our hustle?
Resting and Rejecting,